Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Greetings Tweeps!
I’m gonna try and write this blog, but it may take awhile since I’m very into this Rangers-Capitals game right now. Don’t worry, I hate both teams, but unlike most of the Philadelphia population, I want the Rangers in the conference finals. I have too many friends from the Stagdome days that are Rangers fans, and I could use a break from their friendship for a week or two. L-O-L Pete… L-O-L.
Anyways, its hard to think of blogging topics these days, what with my extensive softball/baseball schedule and all. But I finally thought of one the other day at work. I was taking my daily 5-20 minute break (depending on what was for lunch that day) and something hit me. Back in the day when I would “retire” to the male sanctuary, I would likely enjoy a nice game of Brickbreaker, check the ole facebook page, or maybe some Angry Birds (I discovered this like 2 years after the rest of the world. Great game). If I hit up Chipotle that day, I’d usually have enough time to get through an entire Bill Simmons article. In case there’s actually a female reading this, his articles are like A MILLION PAGES. But I noticed this time that I had spent the whole time just cruising around the world that is Twitter. And that’s when I fully realized that for multiple reasons, I like Twitter SOO MUCH MORE than Facebook.
Now I was once one of those guys who said that Twitter was stupid. Seriously, why did I need it??? All my friends were on facebook and the only athletes I thought were on it were NBA players. Then I started hanging out with a certain female who swore by it. Constantly on the damn thing, and I just did not get it. Long story short, she convinced me to sign up for it and started the intense coaching process. “What the hell is this number sign thingy?” id ask. “That’s how you categorize what your talking about.” Ooooook….whatever that means. I didn’t touch the thing for like 3 weeks. I started to fiddle with it a bit and started to notice that a lot of my favorite athletes were on it, as well as musicians. Naturally I started following Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. One day he tweeted that he was raising money for a music school he founded, and the next 20 people who went to his website and donated $20 would received a signed tshirt from him. Being the pepper-nut I am, I swiftly logged on, threw 20 bones his way, and hoped to hear back. Sure enough, an hour later I had an email in my inbox thanking me for my donation and informing me that I would be receiving a tshirt. I was pretty pumped, but not sold yet. What are the odds that id actually get the shirt. Well, turns out they were good, cuz 2 weeks later I had this…
I also used Twitter to communicate with my favorite “new” band, Steel Panther. Prior to seeing them live in Philly one night, I tweeted a rather amusing line to the drummer and guitar player. With the help of my trusty comrade Ian (he literally ate a beer can after the show, prompting the support band to give us backstage passes) we found ourselves backstage after the concert. We started talking to Stixx (the drummer of Steel Panther) and I said that I was the guy who tweeted him that joke. He said that they loved it and we ended up slugging BLs with them after the show. Can facebook do that??? The answer is no. I think the fact that Ian is a veteran helped our cause, but whatever, we partied!!
I did pull a major violation on my 25th bday though. I asked Duff McKagan of Guns n Roses for a happy bday tweet. I’m not proud of this, but he responded, so yeah, I am kinda proud of it. #getonmylevel
I also received one of the treasured “Direct Messages” from Chad Smith, drummer from the Chili Peppers, last weekend. After I asked him why they never play anything from their first 4 albums, he politely informed me that they were playing 2 in every set. Apologies Chad. My B.
Must give credit where credit is due. @trrubeey, thank you!!!
Another reason Twitter crushes Zuckerberger’s creation is the limit on characters you can tweet. At first, I thought it was annoying that I could only type out a sentence or two. As evident by this blog, I’ve got WAAAAYYYY too much wisdom to dish out. But I have now come to appreciate this bylaw. Why?? Have you read any of the posts from the annoying chicks you are still friends with bc you’re afraid if you de-friend them they will put a dead bird on ur porch??? Guys, permission to speak freely and for all of you… Girls, we don’t give a shit about the healthy meal you ate today bc your trying to lose weight. So don’t post a picture of it. We don’t care. O, and guess what?? Losing 5 pounds isn’t hard. Please do let me know when you finally get the scratch for the boob job tho. Thanks! We also could care less about the mean person at your work who made you sad. In fact, we’d probably buy them a beer if we could. We also don’t care about how tough your class schedule is this semester. You’re 26. If your not in law school or studying to become a doctor, just f*ckin graduate already!!!
Perhaps the best reason Twitter wins is for sports knowledge. Before ESPN started punishing their reporters for tweeting big stories before they broke (Stanman, WTF???) I knew everything before my friends did. It also gave us great entertainment when Jayson Stark would tweet MLB trivia questions. Instead of doing our jobs, we would be trying to figure out who the only player to win 4 batting titles was. Sorry ex-bosses, but me, Tierney and Temp rarely did work on Tuesdays from 9am-11am. It’s also great to follow your favorite radio personalities, like Preston n Steve and the crew from 97.5 the Fanatic. Seriously, if you still listen to WIP, you’re either old or dumb…or both.
There is one thing that Facebook beats Twitter out on… Spring Break photos. Don’t judge, I never had a spring break. My spring break consisted of being cooped up with the baseball team in florida where we weren’t allowed to leave our hotel… or so our coaches thought. If your ever in Bradenton, I highly recommend the Paper Moon. Gotta love the spring break pics tho. Prolly the only reason I still have a fbook account.
That and promoting some Piping Hot D of course! Speaking of which, we hope to see all the Dbags and D-Vaas next week at the Manayunk Brew Pub on May 12!!!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
A Long Journey
I feel like I start all my blogs with this sentence, but it truly has been awhile!!! But this time I have an excuse despite sheer laziness/Sunday Night HBO programming. As only a select few of my cronies know, these past 2 months have been the most trying of my life. It has truly been a test of not only my physical stamina, but also my emotional and mental toughness. It’s said that the holidays can be the most stressful time of the year. And this year, on Christmas Eve, I realized something that deep down, I’ve known for the past 3 years.
It all started at the annual Hoban Christmas Eve party. The night started like any other late December festivity. The Eagles’ season came to a crashing hault, 5PM mass in Mt Airy, then off to the family shindig with mom and dad as my Holiday DD’s. Everyone knows that when you turn 21, you are legal to drink. However, there is always that 2-3 years span where even though the great US of A says that you are allowed to take as many funnels to the face as you want, adults always look at you like you’re an alcoholic (let me live for like 5 minutes). However, at 25, I can have as many BLs as I want on a holiday as long as I have a ride and nobody cares. I’d just finished my roast beef/provolone sandwich complete with GMOM’s salad, momma cole slaw, and healthy portion of lasagna (Irish side of the family if you didn’t figure that out yet). I then retired to the lavatory to make some adjustments. THEN, there it was…. Something I’ve feared for years since my playing days at the Stagdome have ended… a scale. I figured, “why not, lets see what the slophouse is tipping the scales at these days.” Tap the scale, see the zeros appear, annnnnnnd mount. YIKES!!!!!!!! 228.3????? HOLY SHIT! The nickname of Slophouse was no longer a reference to my penchant Jack n Cokes, fights with inflatable football players, and frighteningly accurate MJ Thriller dance moves. I am officially a FATASS.
Leave me alone. I dont wanna see anyone...
Now I am not saying that everyone who is 228.3lbs is fat. But when you used to go into the year at 192 and you’re 6ft (ok, 5’11’’ and a half) this is a problem. Especially when you play bass in a bitchin band and your main responsibility is to what??? We’ve talked about this people! LOOK GOOD ON STAGE!!! I realized at this point that something had to change. I felt like the Italian Stallion in Rocky 3. I’d been carried for most of my career, but now I was beaten. Knocked out by Clubber Lang laying face down on the canvass. And then there he was. Sir Charles himself talking about WeightWatchers. My Apollo Creed (no, we did not share a random homo-erotic sprint on the beaches of California, but that’s besides the point).
Yes, I got sold and sucked in immediately. Lose Like a Man??? I can do that. Why not? So I got out the plastic and signed up for 3 months. Now I’m not gonna waste anymore time talking about all the different food I ate and the workouts I did, so let me just say this- Sir Charles don’t lie. It may be “turrrible” not to slop Chipotle twice a week, but this shit works. But again, this isn’t a weight-loss diary cuz that would be way too much work and its been a pain in the ass enough recording every grain I’ve put into my body for the past 2 months. Instead, this is me venting after 2 months about what absolutely SUCKS about being on a diet. So if you are considering going on one, Godspeed and best of luck but be prepared for…
1) CHEESE- lets get one thing straight. I LOVE CHEESE. On everything. Now yes, you can eat cheese on WW, but not like I do. I need cheese for 3 squares a day. And now??? TWICE A DAY??? Horsehit! Luckily I found that if I get a Cold Cut Combo at subway sans cheese, but just load on every single type of condiment imaginable, everybody wins.
2) The Super Bowl- The Giants played the Patriots, The Giants won, nobody wanted to go out, I had 3 buffalo wings. Awful on multiple levels.
3) WARDROBE- I know, yes, it is a good feeling when you’re on a diet and your clothes start feeling bigger. However, it does not feel good when you’re walking around and you start to look like Lil Wayne crypt-walking from stage left to stage right. Your front button sags below your belt and you look like a goddamn Mac Miller impersonator (is he serious or is he a parody??? Somebody let me know). One good thing was that the 36 waist black jeans I bought to look tight and “rocker” don’t actually suffocate me anymore. Bad news is that everything I got for xmas is now irrelevant. The fantastic white button-up my parents got me makes me look like the Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man took roids and stopped working out.
4) Post Work Routine Ruined – I’m not gonna get too graphic on this one, but I used to enjoy coming home, throwing off the coat, and heading to my throne. Nowadays, well, you get the point. My routine is completely thrown off. That is unless I save up some points and hit up a Mexican restaurant on a random night. Then I’m in deeeep trouble. During work is the same. I used to have 2 designated breaks during the day to unwind, fire up some Angry Birds and read the latest blurbs about a possible Guns n Roses reunion. Now I just get bored and my legs go numb while I am forced to listen to co-workers enjoying their breaks. Its just inhuman.
5) People Who Notice- Again, this should be a good thing when people notice that you are shedding pounds. You know what isn’t good??? When all those people are dudes!!! 2 months and the only female who noticed and said something was my roommate’s girlfriend. Yeah….fail.
6) Alcohol- Other than giving up real beer, adjusting the booze intake hasn’t been too bad. The bad part is that I used to prepare for a night out with a slop-show meal. Usually a cheesesteak, pizza, or delicious Chicken Cacciatore with a side of pasta. Nowadays, a nice little egg white omelet with mushrooms and yes, cheese. Hypothesis- I will get drunk pretty quickly. Result- I get drunk extremely quick and I have a massive hangover the next day. Luckily for me, Subway in West Chester stays open till 3am on the weekends. Thanks Jared!
So in summary, I stopped eating like a complete douche (God I miss college), I actually go to the gym now (a big thank you to the girls rockin the yoga pants on the treadmills), and I now put my beverages on the ground next to my recliner since I can no longer rest them on the quarter-keg that used to be my tummy. It has been an experience for sure, but it’s not over yet. 1 more month to go on my subscription, and then….
THIS HELL GETS TO END AND I CAN EAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! MARK IT DOWN FOLKS. MARCH 29TH, CHINA BUFFET IN PLYMOUTH MEETING. I’M CLOSING THAT BITCH AND YOU’RE INVITED!!! YOU BRING THE BEERS, I’LL BRING THE FUNNEL…FOR THE HOT N SOUR SOUP.
It all started at the annual Hoban Christmas Eve party. The night started like any other late December festivity. The Eagles’ season came to a crashing hault, 5PM mass in Mt Airy, then off to the family shindig with mom and dad as my Holiday DD’s. Everyone knows that when you turn 21, you are legal to drink. However, there is always that 2-3 years span where even though the great US of A says that you are allowed to take as many funnels to the face as you want, adults always look at you like you’re an alcoholic (let me live for like 5 minutes). However, at 25, I can have as many BLs as I want on a holiday as long as I have a ride and nobody cares. I’d just finished my roast beef/provolone sandwich complete with GMOM’s salad, momma cole slaw, and healthy portion of lasagna (Irish side of the family if you didn’t figure that out yet). I then retired to the lavatory to make some adjustments. THEN, there it was…. Something I’ve feared for years since my playing days at the Stagdome have ended… a scale. I figured, “why not, lets see what the slophouse is tipping the scales at these days.” Tap the scale, see the zeros appear, annnnnnnd mount. YIKES!!!!!!!! 228.3????? HOLY SHIT! The nickname of Slophouse was no longer a reference to my penchant Jack n Cokes, fights with inflatable football players, and frighteningly accurate MJ Thriller dance moves. I am officially a FATASS.
Leave me alone. I dont wanna see anyone...
Now I am not saying that everyone who is 228.3lbs is fat. But when you used to go into the year at 192 and you’re 6ft (ok, 5’11’’ and a half) this is a problem. Especially when you play bass in a bitchin band and your main responsibility is to what??? We’ve talked about this people! LOOK GOOD ON STAGE!!! I realized at this point that something had to change. I felt like the Italian Stallion in Rocky 3. I’d been carried for most of my career, but now I was beaten. Knocked out by Clubber Lang laying face down on the canvass. And then there he was. Sir Charles himself talking about WeightWatchers. My Apollo Creed (no, we did not share a random homo-erotic sprint on the beaches of California, but that’s besides the point).
Yes, I got sold and sucked in immediately. Lose Like a Man??? I can do that. Why not? So I got out the plastic and signed up for 3 months. Now I’m not gonna waste anymore time talking about all the different food I ate and the workouts I did, so let me just say this- Sir Charles don’t lie. It may be “turrrible” not to slop Chipotle twice a week, but this shit works. But again, this isn’t a weight-loss diary cuz that would be way too much work and its been a pain in the ass enough recording every grain I’ve put into my body for the past 2 months. Instead, this is me venting after 2 months about what absolutely SUCKS about being on a diet. So if you are considering going on one, Godspeed and best of luck but be prepared for…
1) CHEESE- lets get one thing straight. I LOVE CHEESE. On everything. Now yes, you can eat cheese on WW, but not like I do. I need cheese for 3 squares a day. And now??? TWICE A DAY??? Horsehit! Luckily I found that if I get a Cold Cut Combo at subway sans cheese, but just load on every single type of condiment imaginable, everybody wins.
2) The Super Bowl- The Giants played the Patriots, The Giants won, nobody wanted to go out, I had 3 buffalo wings. Awful on multiple levels.
3) WARDROBE- I know, yes, it is a good feeling when you’re on a diet and your clothes start feeling bigger. However, it does not feel good when you’re walking around and you start to look like Lil Wayne crypt-walking from stage left to stage right. Your front button sags below your belt and you look like a goddamn Mac Miller impersonator (is he serious or is he a parody??? Somebody let me know). One good thing was that the 36 waist black jeans I bought to look tight and “rocker” don’t actually suffocate me anymore. Bad news is that everything I got for xmas is now irrelevant. The fantastic white button-up my parents got me makes me look like the Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man took roids and stopped working out.
4) Post Work Routine Ruined – I’m not gonna get too graphic on this one, but I used to enjoy coming home, throwing off the coat, and heading to my throne. Nowadays, well, you get the point. My routine is completely thrown off. That is unless I save up some points and hit up a Mexican restaurant on a random night. Then I’m in deeeep trouble. During work is the same. I used to have 2 designated breaks during the day to unwind, fire up some Angry Birds and read the latest blurbs about a possible Guns n Roses reunion. Now I just get bored and my legs go numb while I am forced to listen to co-workers enjoying their breaks. Its just inhuman.
5) People Who Notice- Again, this should be a good thing when people notice that you are shedding pounds. You know what isn’t good??? When all those people are dudes!!! 2 months and the only female who noticed and said something was my roommate’s girlfriend. Yeah….fail.
6) Alcohol- Other than giving up real beer, adjusting the booze intake hasn’t been too bad. The bad part is that I used to prepare for a night out with a slop-show meal. Usually a cheesesteak, pizza, or delicious Chicken Cacciatore with a side of pasta. Nowadays, a nice little egg white omelet with mushrooms and yes, cheese. Hypothesis- I will get drunk pretty quickly. Result- I get drunk extremely quick and I have a massive hangover the next day. Luckily for me, Subway in West Chester stays open till 3am on the weekends. Thanks Jared!
So in summary, I stopped eating like a complete douche (God I miss college), I actually go to the gym now (a big thank you to the girls rockin the yoga pants on the treadmills), and I now put my beverages on the ground next to my recliner since I can no longer rest them on the quarter-keg that used to be my tummy. It has been an experience for sure, but it’s not over yet. 1 more month to go on my subscription, and then….
THIS HELL GETS TO END AND I CAN EAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! MARK IT DOWN FOLKS. MARCH 29TH, CHINA BUFFET IN PLYMOUTH MEETING. I’M CLOSING THAT BITCH AND YOU’RE INVITED!!! YOU BRING THE BEERS, I’LL BRING THE FUNNEL…FOR THE HOT N SOUR SOUP.
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