Now what goes into a good pre-show meal you ask??? Chinese food??? I already squashed that idea previously. Cajun??? While the grub at Bourbon Blue is nothing short of fabulous, dining on Catfish with a spicy cajun sauce 45 mins before you hit the stage is a recipe for disaster (as i found out 3 weeks ago). Cold Cut Combo from Subway...not a bad choice, but not the best either. A sure fire "go-to" in order to energize oneself and provide the much needed beer-base for the tummy is CEREAL. I recently began thinking, with the help of my good friends and faithful D-bags DJ Dyelaaaan and Peter "Powder" Allen, of my favorite cereals.
GOLDEN GRAHAMS sprinkled with LUCKY CHARMS MARSHMELLOWS- Not only is it important to choose a tasty cereal, but you always have to take into consideration the "post-game milk." This combo makes it delicious. The combination of the crunchy grahams with the soft and chewy Mc-Candy make it a must for aspiring dipsetters (Webster's defines "Dipsetters" as "those capable of or possessing the ability to dipset").
COCOA PUFFS w/ CHOCOLATE ZICO- a favorite of Powder's, this concoction is straight FIRE!!! If you dont know what Chocolate ZICO is, then three things:
A) GROW UP
B) Stop staying in on Friday nights playing Angry Birds and go to the bar (it does wonders for hangovers, seriously)
C) Go to Malvern Pizza or the cafeteria at De Lage Landen and try one.
It's Coconut Water that is basically the equivalent of healthy chocolate milk. "Basically" being the key word. I prefer to mix it with COCOA KRISPIES since I still consider myself a child and I like listening to the snap crackle and pops that ensue. I heard Pete once made a bowl of these, mixed it with half a rack of BL's, and hit the bar. He was later seen wandering the streets of NYC screaming in a Spartan accent "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!"
WHEATIES- ................. just kidding, we're trying to be rockstars here, not world-class athletes. This stuff tastes like Grade-A dogshit and doesnt even make noise when you pour milk in it. And unless General Mills decided to add some HGH to the recipe, or you mix it with the Clear instead of milk, its not gonna do a damn thing to help you hit the curveball or run faster. If you want to be a professional athlete, then forgo your childhood, practice 10 hours a day, take steroids, deny taking steroids, win an MVP, then admit to taking steroids after everyone stops caring about you. Cant wait to see you on 60 Minutes Mr. Braun!!!
And now for the grandaddy of em all. This is the mandatory meal for that show where the people never show up till the 2nd set, if at all. That's right folks, I'm talkin about the dreaded "AWKWARD 1st SET." This is the set where you have to act like you are enthused when in actuality your playing to a bunch of squeebs that would rather be sitting in the balcony at a ColdPlay show. And no, WE ARE NOT GOING TO TRY AND HELP YOU GET LAID BY PLAYING "CLOCKS" FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!! In addition to some suave shades, it is important to battle the disarm the AWKWARD 1st SET by consuming a nice big bowl of....
SHARK SMACKS w/ A FLOATER- or as i like to call it, the GOLDEN GOOSE. The recipe is simple. Pour a generous portion of Honey Smacks into bowl. Fill said bowl with 18 oz of crisp, delicious LandShark Lager. Immediately drop to one knee and chug the remaining 6 oz of said LandShark. And finally, top it off with a floater of Cuervo Tequilla. Not only will it free your mind and enable you to forget about the empty dance floor in front of you, but it will make you think of summer. We used to make these all the time during the yearly Labor Day celebration, but Pete started hiding all of my LandSharks behind his bed at the beach house. "What's that Kess??? We're out of beer??? Did u check behind Powder's bed???"
(ii/:-)
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